I was prompted to write this after noticing how frequently the term “toxic people” is being used across social media, and even in conversations with patients in clinic.

It raised an important question — what does it actually mean when we label someone as a “toxic person”? And perhaps more importantly, do they see themselves that way, or do they believe the same about us?

The word toxic carries a strong emotional weight. When applied to a person, it can immediately suggest anger, abuse, manipulation, or disrespect. But in reality, toxic behaviour is often far more subtle than this.

In many cases, what we describe as “toxic” is actually a reflection of someone’s internal world — their beliefs, emotional conditioning, past experiences, and unresolved stress patterns that shape how they think, respond, and relate to others.

The Mind–Body Impact of Emotional Stress and Relationship Strain

From a holistic health perspective, our lived experiences shape not only our mindset, but also our nervous system, immune response, and inflammatory load in the body.

When we are consistently exposed to environments or relationships that create emotional tension, self-doubt, or chronic stress, the body can remain in a heightened stress state. Over time, this can impact sleep quality, digestion, skin health, and overall resilience.

Equally, when external influences pull you away from your sense of self — your values, intuition, and internal clarity — it can create internal conflict. This ongoing internal pressure is often what people experience as emotional exhaustion or burnout.

This is not about dismissing growth, feedback, or learning from others. In fact, healthy guidance and constructive support are essential for personal development.

The key difference lies in whether the influence expands you or diminishes you.

What “Toxic Behaviour” Can Look Like in Everyday Life

A person may not intend harm, but their behaviour can still be emotionally disruptive if it consistently:

• Undermines your decisions or self-trust

• Encourages self-doubt around important life changes

• Discourages your goals or long-term direction

• Creates guilt when you prioritise yourself or your wellbeing

• Subtly invalidates your perspective or lived experience

Sometimes this behaviour comes from fear — fear of change, fear of loss, or fear of watching someone else take a path they themselves didn’t take.

And while fear can explain behaviour, it does not always make it supportive for your growth.

At other times, advice may come from genuine care — someone trying to protect you based on their own experiences. The challenge is that their path is not necessarily your path.

Rebuilding Trust in Your Own Internal Guidance

One of the most important aspects of emotional and physical wellbeing is learning to reconnect with your own internal signals — your intuition, your boundaries, and your sense of what feels aligned.

When you are grounded in this awareness, it becomes easier to distinguish between:

• Guidance that supports your growth

• And influence that keeps you small or uncertain

This is not about cutting people off or labelling others. It is about discernment — understanding what supports your emotional stability, stress levels, and overall health.

Final Reflection

Relationships play a significant role in how we feel, think, and function — both emotionally and physically. The quality of your environment can directly influence your stress response, energy levels, and overall wellbeing.

So the real question may not be “Who is toxic in my life?”
But rather — “What environments and interactions help me feel clear, grounded, and well?”

I’d genuinely love to hear your reflections on this.

Have you ever experienced relationships that affected your confidence, stress, or sense of direction?
What helped you recognise it? And what changes did you make to protect your wellbeing?

If this resonates, you may find value in the latest episode of Salubrious Skin with Dr Irene — exploring emotional stress, unresolved trauma, and its connection to overall health and skin wellbeing.

Yours in great health,
Irene